Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, by J.K. Rowling. June 26th, 1997.
He who is a dickhead
On a narrow side street in Paris, outside a small cafe, a man sits drinking his coffee. Sunglasses hide his eyes, but not the long scars over his face. It’s been so long since he was properly anonymous, he can’t remember what it was like. It’s beginning to come back.
Another man sits down across from him. “You are a very difficult man to find. I respect that.” He gestures to the waiter for a drink, whatever the other guy is having.
The scarred man scowls. “Not enough to leave me be.”
"No. But I’m not lurking in a dark room waiting for you to come in so I can surprise you with my," his tone drops an octave, "very powerful voice."
"What do you want, Stark?"
The waiter arrives with the coffee. “You take it black? I was expecting an espresso. Tiny little teacup with an ounce of the world’s most potent caffeine. Superserumspresso.” He picks up the cup, sniffs it, sips it, makes a face. “Gah, hot.”
The scarred man glares, raises an eyebrow. “S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone.”
"But the world still needs defending. Hydra, Chitauri, all those random little events that you handled. Someone has to take care of those." He leans in. "Nick Fury is dead, but his skills still exist."
The scarred man considers it. “What are you proposing?”
"I’d like to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative."
Echoes of Nick Fury’s laughter can be heard three blocks away.
This is the best reaction photo I have EVER seen in my life
Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”
my uncle: “that’s great”
Miley: “it’s a bird”
my uncle: “no its not”
They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.
she caught another bird.
update: she caught a squirrel today
She is gonna rule the world one day with this power
Steve Irwin has been reborn
WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT
YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT
"I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS" "oh hey sabrina."
I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.
I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve
Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know
That’s great but have you considered
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
“When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve.”
This person speaks to my soul.
sO MY SISTER-IN-LAW WORKS AT RED ROBIN AND THEY’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A REMODEL SO THEY TOOK DOWN ALL THE RANDOM ART/PICTURES THEY HAD UP IN THE RESTAURANT AND THIS WAS ONE OF THEM SO SHE AND MY BROTHER DECIDED TO TAKE IT AND GIVE IT TO MY DAD AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT
I MEAN THEY GAVE HIM SOME ACTUAL NICE STUFF AS WELL
BUT IT WAS SO GREAT BECAUSE THEY HAD HIM UNWRAP IT TO SHOW THE BACK FIRST AND WE ALL THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE SOME PRETTY ART THING